Some of us are born into this world with love and families and sometimes both. Parents, spend months sometimes years preparing for this life-changing moment. You never know if you’re ready, even when your kids are 18 and by society’s standards considered adults, you never really know. I used to think it was luck, how I got the family I have and the parents I am so fortunate to call my mom and dad. It’s the best gift anyone can wish for. I wasn’t wrapped in the prettiest wrapping paper, or packaged to be the shiny thing everyone waits in lines for to buy. In a world of replication made up of people who want so bad to stand out, I would call myself a defect. We come into this world alone and we leave it alone. That is the reality.
The hardest part about being single isn’t the feeling of loneliness or feeling incomplete. It isn’t the Friday nights you spend alone. It’s not about having a dinner date every night. The hard part isn’t even your long list of previous relationships, or failed marriages. The hardest part about being single is knowing that the piece of you that you’re looking for is out there. The hardest part of being single is having to live with the fact that the person who you are made for is walking this place looking for you, too.
This whole time I’ve been single I thought I was supposed to be looking for myself. Finding myself, creating myself – whatever you want to call it. Like there was a costume I could jump into and zip up, finding out who I am, WHY I am here, looking for myself in people and places. Trying to be strategic and embed myself in other peoples lives, pay it forward, make a difference – the list goes on about how wrong I’ve been all these years.
It’s not until you’re in your darkest place, at the darkest hour that you see the light. You are hit with the reality that no one cares if you wake up. No one cares if get out of bed and start your day. Not even your best friends, who you share your secrets with or when in celebration you raise your drinks with – they don’t care. They care if they have more to say than one-word responses.
If you find that person who does care, make it work. Don’t let a piece of you walk away with someone else because you’ll end up like me – pieced together by someone else’s problems. Problems, worries, bad decisions, they will all consume you. Everyday, you will wake up feeling like a dead person walking among the living.