The answer to everything is out there. I know I don’t have a lot of things figured out yet but I know I want to. I want to get there. There is some imaginary place for me. I know I’m working towards something bigger than me.
I used to spend a lot of time just thinking. Thinking about what I am doing with my life. Who am I supposed to be? Wondering. and damn, a lot of wishing. Wishing was okay for a couple days until I wanted something tangible. I wanted results. I guess that’s why moving forward and moving on is so damn important to me. I hate staying in the same place, it’s like treading water. You do it long enough in the same place, you will get tired and if you don’t move… you already know what I’m saying.
I knew heartbreak could potentially kill me. I was running circles. I know there are a million ways to do something but damn it took me a million times to finally see that the end result was always going to be the same for me. I can get there in a different way, but the outcome never changed. That hurt, but nothing makes me happier than knowing I tried. Trying was the real lesson to be learned, even a million tries later.
Growing up I always wanted to be the real life Matilda. I wanted to spend hours in the library teaching myself how to do anything. Matilda was a great person to look up to. She was living proof that if you can put your mind to it, you can do it. I know I can’t move mountains or give myself super powers but I know I have the resources to be who I want to be. I can literally do anything. People say it all the time, and it’s true.